Some iStock Humor

Occasionally, in the forums on iStock, a contributor will post something along the lines of “What should I shoot?”, or “What is the collection missing?”.  Normally, my response is something along the lines of “Keep your best ideas to yourself”.  However, in a recent thread, contributor redmonkey8 came up with this great list ( ;)   <- note the wink) of subject niches that need to be filled…

  1. More shots of business people doing business things like shaking hands, pointing to graphs and charts, drawing diagrams on glass, standing in lines or groups with one person in focus and the rest out of focus, etc, etc.
  2. Flowers. Man, there just aren’t enough flowers on this site. Get out in your gardens and start shooting!
  3. Customer service people. You know what we really need? Photos of smiling customer service reps wearing telephone headsets. We don’t have enough of those.
  4. Goldfish. How come nobody’s shooting goldfish? Get on it people! Make them jump around, from bowl to bowl, or just sit there in the water. We need more goldfish.
  5. Pets. Pets are incredibly unrepresented here on iStock. Let’s get some pet pictures already. I’d start with cats and dogs, and then work my way through the list.
  6. Feet. Why aren’t more of you taking pictures of your own feet? Those are sure to be best sellers.
  7. Brick walls. If there is one thing we really need around here it’s pictures of brick walls. If I wanted to sell a lot of stuff here on iStock, I’d start by photographing a lot of brick walls.
  8. Going on vacation? For god’s sake, photograph everything! There is a serious lack of vacation-style snapshots around here, and we’d all be better off if there were more.
  9. More architectural elements. Surely there are some interesting buildings in your home town with intersting corners, windows, cornices, doorways and the like. Get out there and start snapping! We especially need spiral staircases, escalators, elevators, etc etc.
  10. Less than attractive people that are labled as “beautiful”. This may be the most glaring omission of all in the iStock collection. Get your camera, take a photo of a less than attractive person doing something, then when you upload it make sure to describe the person as “beautiful”, “sexy”, “gorgeous” etc. Keyword it that way too. Fun for all.
  11. Macro shots of microchips and computer components on blue backgrounds, or lit with high-tech looking blue light.
  12. Hands in many different positions. Isolated on white would be nice.
  13. Sunsets, skies, and clouds. Definitely a shortage of these.
  14. Little kids, running though grassy or flower-filled meadows. Ditto for women in the same setting with arms spread wide and satisfied and contented looks on their faces as if they’ve just been set free. If they’re pulling the petals off of flowers, or blowing on dandelions, then that’s a plus.
  15. Lone trees on wide open landscapes. Ditto for wooden piers or walkways extending out into placid looking lakes or bodies of water.
  16. People making frames with their hands.
  17. Teens, in groups, hanging out and laughing as if being a teen is the best thing ever. Make sure they’re as multi-ethnic as possible, and at least one of them is in the background texting.
  18. Fire. We need everything from regular campfire/fireplace type of stuff, all the way up to backgrounds filled with flame.

In the interest of disclosure, I do have something in my portfolio that would fit into about half of these. :)

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